Why You Should Sign a Prenup

It’s the question that every woman who’s marrying someone with money wants to ask. Should I sign a prenuptial agreement? 

First I’m going to say that I’m not a lawyer, so please don’t consider this to be legal advice. What I AM going to give you are some common sense reasons to consider signing a prenuptial agreement. 

Generally, when you’re asked to sign a prenup, it’s because the person that you’re marrying has more money than you do. Typically they have MUCH more money than you do. They’re trying to shield what they’ve accumulated financially from someone with ulterior motives. 

That’s the Coles Notes version of why you’ve been offered a prenup. 

So…we know why the person with money wants a prenup. But let’s talk about why you should want to sign a prenup, even if you don’t have money. 

When you get married and start having children (especially if you’re in your 20’s), you’re at a point in your life where you have the world by the tail. By that I mean, this is the time when you’re at your peak. You’re young, your potential will never be greater, because you haven’t really done anything yet. 

But you’re going to get married and start creating a family, and that’s all great. But in doing that you’re about to put everything else on hold. You’re about to literally give up, or put on hold the things that you should value; your youth, your potential, career aspirations, your body (because having children is gonna wreck that), your looks, etc. 

Let’s face it, he can always make more money. But you’re about to give up everything that’s valuable to you. 

What’s that worth? 

Don’t be offended when you’re asked to sign a prenup!

Suffice it to say that when you’re asked to sign a prenup, your first inclination is to be offended. 

But really, this is a great thing! 

A prenup is a contract. And like any other contract, it’s meant to be negotiated. 

Think of it as a way to guarantee that what you’re about to give up, is given consideration and value.

Let me also say that a lawyer will not tell you what I’m about to. Simply because this kind of advice isn’t typically in their wheelhouse. 

Let me first say that regardless of what happens in your family after the wedding day, his life will not change. 

No matter how many times you get pregnant, no matter how many times you give birth, his life will not change. His job will not change. His general day to day WILL NOT CHANGE. 

OK?

Yours, however, will change in ways that you won’t anticipate until those changes have already happened. And even then, you won’t think about the value of what you had before that change. 

The prenup that you actually sign, should take into consideration what you’re going to need to ‘get back on your feet’ should the relationship hit the skids.

What you need to add to a prenup.

Once you start having kids, you body is going to change. You should think about what you might want in terms of getting that back. 

You’re about to give up your best career years. If the relationship ends before or even after your children grow up and move out, what will you do? How will you make money when you haven’t been out in the work force for 20+ years?

In the time it takes to raise children who eventually move out, you haven’t acquired any skills that you could typically make money for. So…while you were raising kids and taking care of the house, maybe even working for your significant other, that other person has continued to grow their business. They haven’t skipped a beat when it comes to the financial part of your relationship. 

YOU however, have traded your money making years to get married and have a family. 

What’s that worth to you?

What will it take to get you back to a place where you can ‘fend for yourself’, at least financially, if the relationship doesn’t last?

 Where will you live?

Add it to the prenup.

How will you make money?

Add it to the prenup.

Will you want to go back to school to get some solid skills?

Add it to the prenup.

Think about what your life could look like after a breakup or divorce. Think about how what you’ve given up to accommodate that marriage, and make a list of how to remedy the loss. 

Add it to a prenup. 

Like I said before, a prenup is a contract. Like any other contract, it should be negotiated. 

Period.