Should I Text Him First?

Back in the day (I’m talking about ‘old school dating’ here), the question was whether or not we as women should call men first. But these days, we’re all about texting, and a text is much simpler than a phone call.

The other day, I was having a conversation with a friend, and she said that she met this guy, told me that they exchanged numbers, and she was wondering if she should text him first.

It sounds like an easy question, but there are a few things that we want to consider with regard to the whole “should I text him first” question.

Think about this; If you text him first, and he either takes hours or days to  reply, or worse…he doesn’t reply at all, are you the type of person who’s going to be chapped that he apparently had the nerve to ignore you?

If he doesn’t reply at all, are you going to spend the rest of eternity moaning all over God’s Creation about the fact that you actually went out on a limb to text this guy, and “How DARE he not even acknowledge the effort?”

First…we have to change the way we think about ‘texting first’.

It’s fine to text first. I mean, all it really is, is simply striking up a conversation. Period. But by text. All you’re really doing is reaching out/checking in. Don’t apply any unnecessary pressure to the situation. It’s really nothing more stressful than that.

On the flip, if you don’t text him, you have no idea how he’ll respond!

In my opinion, you don’t know until you try. If you’re that person who quickly takes offence to that dude not texting you back, we need to change the way you think about the value of his text.


If he doesn’t text you back…oh well. Don’t stress. Probably his loss. Move on.

Try not to put SO MUCH value on the return text. If he doesn’t text you back, will you die?

Probably not.

If you think of the act of texting him as ‘just a text’ and not a marriage proposal, it’s much easier to make that move.

So do I think you should text him first?


If he doesn’t text you back, at least you know then that he’s probably not interested, because a guy  who is interested will text you back. Either way, you can move on. But until you text him, you really have no idea.


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