My boyfriend thinks I'm a Gold Digger

I recently watched a reality show (I’m addicted to reality tv…don’t judge), called “Marrying Millions”. It’s a show about couples in which one has money, one doesn’t.

When two people are dating, and one has money when the other doesn’t, it’s natural for the one with money to be leery of the other. 

If you’re in this kind of a relationship, it’s important to make sure that you have your own ‘stuff’. Whether you’re “in it for the money” or not, you don’t want to find yourself in a vulnerable position. The kind where you wind up with nothing. No relationship, and no money, whether or not it’s your own. 

I tell my friends and clients alike, “get your own shit, before you go on the search for a significant other”. And the reason that I say “get your own shit” is because that way you still have some control over your own life. You still have control over your own finances. 

Not having “your own shit” leaves you vulnerable to having someone else call the shots.

Do whatever it takes to be secure in the knowledge that you’ll always call the shots in your own life. If that means getting that degree you’ve always wanted, then do that. If it means putting off marriage and babies until you’ve done that, then so be it. 

How to Make Sure He Can’t Call You a Gold Digger

If it means getting that real estate license, then go do it. If it means going to nursing school like you’ve wanted to for the last dozen years…what are you waiting for? 

If you wanted to purchase your first property, do it for yourself, before you ‘settle down’ and start a family. 

Treat yourself to nice things. Eat well, drink nice wine, travel to places that you’ve always wanted to go. Doing these things will help with your attitude. If you act like you’ve never had nice things, or been to awesome places, it’ll make some think that you’re not capable of having those things without the help of someone with money.

Everything that you’ve wanted to accomplish, you should do before you ‘settle down’ and start having kids. Because once you start having kids, doing those things can get exponentially more difficult, which means that you’ll probably rely on someone else for your financial well being.

If you have your own shit, no one can every call you a “gold digger” regardless of how much they have. Make sure that you can ‘fend for yourself’ if the relationship goes South.

How to Make Sure He Can’t Call You a Gold Digger

People typically call those who don’t have anything for themselves “gold diggers”. If you come into a relationship without an ability to take care of yourself, he’s going to call you a gold digger. If he has money and you rely on him (and his money) because you didn’t bother to make a life for yourself, why wouldn’t he?

Take the steps above to put yourself in a position where it’s more difficult for anyone to call you a Gold Digger. If you’re fine with that relationship going away with regard to your finances, you’re good!