Ugh. Where do I start?
When I first started dating online, it was kind of exciting. Every evening I actually looked forward to firing up my laptop and checking my account to see who was actually interested in chatting, and perhaps taking it a step further…coffee.
But after going through more than my fair share of false starts, ghosts and straight up dishonest men, I’ve decided that I’m done. I can’t take one more bad blind date.
Let me be clear here; I don’t give a shit about how many men who happen to be reading this piece have been deceived in the name of online dating. I know that those women are out there too, (I don’t happen to be one of them), I don’t date women.
This is about my experience with the shit show that is online dating.
I’m hoping that some of what I’m telling you here will make sense, and you’ll skip the whole online dating crap show for the potential of finding someone in the real world.
Since I started dating online, I’ve been stood up, ghosted, and catfished (numerous times). I’ve met men who were not remotely who or what they said they were, even after chatting by text for weeks at a time, and I’ve decided that nothing is worth this kind of stress. Not even the possibility of meeting Mr. Right.
At first, I thought it would be a cool way to meet people that I wouldn’t ordinarily cross paths with. But honestly speaking, not crossing paths with some of these people in my regular schedule is most definitely a blessing.
I’ve sworn off online dating because I’m realizing that when you meet someone online, that person can be Whomever they want you to think they are. And most of them are truly pushing the fantasy; I’ve met men who’re at least 20 years older than they stated in their profile (and sent me 20 year old pics).
I even met a man who, after reading in my profile that I don’t date men with young children, told me that he had a daughter, but that the kid was pretty self-sufficient, and he wasn’t looking for a mother for her. When I asked how old the child was, he replied with “oh, she’s 5”.
Fuck my life.
So I’ve had it. I’m going back to dating the ‘old school way’; the way that has worked since the dawn of time.
But unlike one of my friends, I’m only going to date men who’re introduced to me by a trusted friend. None of this ‘meeting him at a coffee shop’ bullshit. If I’m gonna do that, I might as well stick with dating online, because all I know about ‘coffee shop dude’ (besides what he actually looks like…can’t lie there) is what he wants me to know (or think) about him.
This isn’t a rant. This is facts.
There’s too much at stake to be leaving it up to some random ‘algorithm’ that supposedly determines whether or not two people are at all compatible. Those algorithms can only function based on the information they’re given, and if that information is shit, then compatibility will be too.
That explains a LOT.