There are a jillion posts about which red flags you shouldn’t ignore when dating.
This isn’t one of those posts. Simply because there are as many red flag issues as there are posts about them.
And because a red flag for me, might not be a red flag for someone else.
The point here is how to stop ignoring those red flags when they pop up, regardless of whether it’s how close he is to his mother, or the fact that he bites his toenails.
A red flag is a red flag people.
We don’t miss red flags. We always see them.
We just don’t always want to acknowledge that that’s what they are. Sometimes we’re afraid of overreacting to the red flag, and that always comes back up eventually.
If you think that something is a red flag when you’re dating, follow your gut. You know what you know.
If you feel like him being in close touch with an ex is a red flag, or a sign to get out, trust that feeling.
Ignoring red flags can often have more to do with our own self-esteem and confidence than anything else.
We’ve all done it. Me included.
But I’ve ignored red flags before, enough to be almost militant about bailing at the first sign of trouble now.
So here’s the key to taking action when you spot that first red flag; Work on your confidence.
Think about it. Why do you ignore traits in others that you don’t like? Because you’re too afraid to leave or confront them about it?
Because you’re afraid that confronting them (or not) will mean the end of the relationship?
No matter how you slice it, putting an end to ignoring red flags in the person that you’re dating boils down to how comfortable you are about the possibility of being alone.
If you’re comfortable with the possibility of being single because you ‘outed’ some kind of ‘red flag’ behavior, then you’ll be fine with doing just that.
If you feel like you’d rather put up with said behavior, you’ll keep ignoring it for the sake of being in a relationship.
Work on your confidence.
Because when you’re confidence in who you are AND what you want, you won’t ignore and accept those red flags. I found that the more confident I got in who I was and what I wanted, the less my gut would let me ignore those red flags.
When you improve your confidence, your gut won’t let you ignore those things anymore. It won’t be a matter of ‘deciding’ whether or not you’re going to put up with it. There will essentially be no decision to make.
It’s just that simple.
Value who you are and what you want. Work on your self-esteem. Improve your confidence. I can’t tell you how much better you’ll feel once you’ve done this.
How do you work on your confidence?
Make new friends. Get outside of your comfort zone. Do things that usually make you uncomfortable. Do things that you’re already good at.
All of these things will give you the confidence you need to put yourself first, which will definitely help you stop ignoring red flags in a dating or relationship situation.
Don’t Be Afraid to Be Single
I know a lot of women would rather be in a ‘so so’ relationship than be single. But staying in a ‘so so’ relationship can bring regret in the short run. You’ll never regret putting yourself first.
There are lots of perks to being single! You can do what you want, when you want, with who you want!
You don’t have to think about whether or not you should include ‘that person’ in your activities.
And best of all, when you’re single, you don’t ever feel the need to put up with anyone else’s red flag BS.